The Attack

Beirut - Bratislava



A story from an incident that occurred last night (9/27/2008)



...

So there I was. Sitting at my desk...per usual.

I was just about to start some reading for my midterm on Monday when my phone rang (actually I never have my phone's ringer on...it's always on vibrate).

Silvia was in the Boulder (she lives in Broomfield), and was wondering if she could come by and say hello. Not wanting to study (obviously...and because it was Saturday night and I was a being a sorry ass loser) I told her to come on over.

At that same moment a certain someone (lets just call him Bigfoot) left a room upstairs. I heard him head downstairs.

Having only taken 1 photo that day (of the wall) I decided I might be able to get some good ones of Silvia. I grabbed my camera and my ol' handy dandy Vivitar 285hv hotshoe flash and walked downstairs.

Nearing the end of the stairs I heard the door open and close...I turned the corner to barely see Bigfoot leaving the apartment, shirtless.

I sat on the couch waiting for Silvia to arrive. I turned all of my equipment on. I heard a car door slam shut somewhere outside. Recalling that when Silvia called me she told me she was over near Broadway and Baseline. I decided that couldn't be her car door slamming. It was Bigfoot. Coming back towards the apartment. Shirtless.

Foreseeing a funny picture opportunity approaching quickly, I sat steeped in anticipation for Bigfoot to enter back into the house. Shirtless.

I sat, waiting. Bigfoot went to open the door and peered in (for those of you that have seen the door you know it's mostly glass). He saw me waiting.

Hesitation.

Bigfoot was formulating a plan.

More hesitation.

Seconds were passing.

The door opened slightly.

Then it pushed open, I could see Bigfoot's arm retreat into the darkness, and I was left looking at an open door and beyond that, darkness of the evening. From around the corner an unopened bag of new socks came flying at me. I knocked them to the ground, and Bigfoot made a run for it through the door and into the living room.

I started to pull the camera up to my eye.

Realizing his plan of hitting me with a bag of soft, lightweight objects hadn't worked, Bigfoot turned towards me and charged. A great roar emanated from deep in his chest...something from a creature of no love...from a heart running coldly with blackness. He reached, forcing his massive, aggressive hand out to cover the lens. I fired off one picture while that beast forced himself on me.



...

Battle was underway.


We struggled.

He tried to get the camera away from me.

Lacey was not okay with this beast attacking me.

I was able to get away from the bone crushing hands (supplemented of course, by years of drinking mythical protein shake known to us humans as Muscle Blast) of bigfoot.

A battle ensued between two mighty beasts. Sweet ol' Lacey, and Bigfoot of 2024 Goss Street.

Bigfoot had to dodge Lacey's attempts to cause bodily damage to his face.

I got a picture of the new battle...

Something out of a nature documentary. Or...one of those Discovery Channel Specials, "When Animals Attack"

We see Lacey here in midair. Turning towards Bigfoot in an attempted lunge at his throat. That is a look of blood lust and murder if I have ever seen it. Lacey wanted the taste of blood. She wanted nothing more than to destroy. She had violence in her heart.



...




Lacey is sooooooo cute.
Cute baby.



...

then Silvia came over.

the end.