Day 471

4/30/2008

taken : sort of 4/30/2008


(this is a picture of a picture..go figure eh? This is for my final photo project. For some reason we have to document them...?...taking a picture of the picture...?)


...

Someone asked:

"Why do you like to solve a Rubik's cube if you have already done it?"

...

It is mostly because...well...it is sort of like meditation.

I know my focus.

I know my goal.

I have one objective. Solve the Rubik's cube.

I can sit down and not think about anything else.

It clears my head.

It clears my mind.



And lately...


...that is exactly what I need.

For my mind to be clear...

to be away...

"about 2,000 miles from here"


gruffle.

Day 470

Bjork - Human Behaviour

...

It's

um...

well,

I,

uh,

well

you see,

how to put it?

I,

uh,

think,

um,

...

damn.

dammit to hell.
...








...

I faced quite a dilemma today.

I had not eaten since about 8:00 PM the previous night.

And here it was 12:30 the next day.

I wasn't hungry.

I knew I should eat something.

I knew there was room in my body for it.

But the shitty thing about it was...

I knew I wouldn't necessarily enjoy whatever I got,

because I wasn't hungry at all.

Do I buy some cheap shitty food?

Or some half way decent food?

I couldn't decide.

"Fuck it. One less thing I have to worry about," I thought.

...so I didn't eat anything.

end of story.


...

Shortly after this I saw my friend Anna.

I love seeing Anna...but it happens quite infrequently.

Sometimes we get coffee together.

Anna is a biochem major...and she is on the track team and cross country team. She is a busy person...she also speaks German.

...

"Hey, I am actually in a huge rush. I have to go meet with one of my professors right now," she stated to me(...in English, not German).

So I slapped her a high five (...an American high five...not the German kind).

...but I wasn't sure if it was because it was nice to see her or because I solved my not hungry/not going to enjoy any food because I am not hungry crisis thingy...


meh...it was both.


...


and blah blah blah

...

and fuck that

...

shit.

...

Hope to see you soon Anna.

Day 469

Devotchka - You Love Me

...

4/28/2008

taken : 4/28/2008

...

Lacey is cute.

...

I feel awful about what happened today with my interaction with Amber.

...

I went up to Fleming this evening to check on some prints I made (I also left my ID in the check out room).

I ran into Amber while I was there

...

Last week while sitting with Amber we discussed how awful my project was going.
She sympathized.

...

While speaking with Amber today she told me of the troubles she was currently having with her project.

"Mark, I think I am more fucked than you now," she said. She described to me how her film was all turning out horrible, and that she felt like crying.

"I was on the verge of crying about five minutes ago."

She was really down. She is normally very cheery and friendly, but you could tell she was not happy with the situation.

I tried to lighten the situation.

"Well...why don't you just get your boyfriend to help you," I joked.

I knew that she had been seeing a fellow by the name of Charlie, for what I thought (although I have no idea really) was a substantial amount of time. Charlie is a photo major. That's why I suggested it.

She looked at me.

"Um. yeah...he just broke up with me"

...

Fuck

...

I felt like a dick.

...

How was I supposed to know they had broken up.

...I mean...

maybe if I had a facebook.com account I would have known...


...

Sorry Amber.

Lacey is sorry too. Lacey is cute. So I hope that cheers you up.

...

The song is for you too.

...even though it is a sad song.

Actually one of the saddest I have heard in a while.

..but maybe it will help.

sorry again.

...

"Theres something missing
when you're kissing me
it's subtle yet it's gone.

Then I'm suspicious
then it gets vicious
then it's a hole right through the heart.


And when you said you loved me
I thought you loved me."

...

Shit...maybe I just made it worse

I suck.

sorry Amber.

...

umm...relate to it. It's sad, and lots of people feel that way all the time. Love is a sad thing sometimes. Find comfort in the collective misery of single/recently single/recently divorced...


...okay I'll just stop.

Day 468

4/27/2008

taken : 4/27/2008


...

I take a lot of pictures of trees like this.

Maybe I am running over the same ground,

but it seems fitting for the weather.

This was taken by the tree across the street from me.

...

This time of year always makes me want to listen to the Flaming Lips.

It reminds me a lot of summer.

...

I first saw the Flaming Lips live around 2002/2003? at the Ogden in Denver.

This might sound cliché as fuck, but I remember that to me as being the summer of music.

It seemed like we were going to shows every week and everything seemed so exciting and new.

...

but anyways

...

The Flaming Lips put on one of the most fun shows I have ever been too. The production seemed a little more fun because it was a small venue...and when they play Red Rocks now it is still fun, but it's totally different.

I remember them bringing out two little girls to do karate while they performed Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots

It was cute.

Although...during that whole fun cute song thing, they had a scene from the infamous

Battle Royale

playing on the screen behind them...

There was quite a lot of bloodshed. It was an interesting juxtaposition.



...
In other news...

Met with Judy and Leon about photographing their wedding.

yeah.

...
....
.....
....
...



blah blah blah

ramble ramble ramble

;oeisg oregjleisruhgoavemgilnuefmt;oravwrc,pAmto oeg;tw'G

AHH
...

Is this thing on?

...

Day 467

4/26/2008

taken : 4/26/2008

...

Engagement shoot this morning.

...

broke some equipment today.

balls.

eff the wind.

...

my routines are wearing on me.

I'm getting tired.

...

um...yeah...ya know.

...

Day 466

4/25/2008

taken : 4/25/2008


...

The BFA show. Dairy Center.

Free food.

Free sushi.

I felt bad taking more than my share.

But there was a lot.

And it was free.

And I hadn't eaten much in the recent past.

...

"I didn't know you were a photographer...thats random."


...


I guess...


...

engagement shoot on Saturday.


























It's a long way down.

...


life has somehow gotten away from me again.

When was it exactly?

I suppose that doesn't matter.

...

Day 465

4/24/2008

taken : 4/24/2008

...

I laid down here today.

The day was already getting long. It seemed like the best place to just fall over.

...

My final portfolio for photo is due next Thursday. I have shot 3 rolls...2 of them came out totally blank and 1 was just absolute shit.

Son of bitch bastard.

...

lugubrious.

fucking lugubrious.


...

Day 464

4/23/2008

taken : 4/23/2008



Nine Inch Nails - Discipline


...

new NIN single from Trent Reznor.

...

photographing my sister soon...possibility of Budget Travel magazine?

...

Engagement shoot this weekend.

...

I need your Discipline.

...

Sex Work Death
(um) (like) (whatever)

Day 463

4/22/2008

taken : 4/22/2008

...




...



Kristen

update

update*

...

Gordon told me not to touch his foot.

He told me that if I did touch his foot he would spit his chocolate protein shake in my face.

I touched his foot.

He wouldn't do it.

I told him to do it.

He didn't.

what a little bitch

...

Later in the evening

when I was coming up the stairs

Gordon spit water all over my head.

Not my face.

Not chocolate protein shake.

Not in my face.

He said he didn't want me to know it was coming.

What a little bitch.

...

Day 462

4/21/2008

taken : 4/21/2008

...

I think it's Jolene's 21st birthday today...but I am not sure. If so... Happy birthday.

...

My father called me tonight.
It's strange how you can tell right away that it's bad news...

My Grandmother on my mother's side died today. She was 93.

...

Day 461

4/20/2008

taken : 4/20/2008

Walked up to Norlin to watch people smoke drugs.

...

Ran into the always lovely





Natalie...

and

the always wonderful...





Morgan.

...

I have no idea what is happening in my life.

It is all over the place.

...

"How do you want me to look?"

"...Like you hate your life."

Day 460

4/19/2008

taken : 4/19/2008

Day 459

4/18/2008

taken : 4/18/2008

...

It sort of feels like company.

...but its more like the absence of your company...


...

I have talked about it before...but...

A lot of Manet's painting are about separation.

The feeling that you are with someone, but no matter what...you will never be close to that person.

No matter how hard you try.

You may never be close to them.

...

Morgan came over tonight...this was a topic of conversation.

...

Later I was at the Sundown.

Tonight was the first time I was ever mistaken for another Asian.

...

So, while at the Sundown, I decide I am going to go walk around the bar a little bit. See if anyone is there that I know.

While squeezing through some people this random girl grabs my hand.

"Hey," she says.
"Hi," I say.
(she looks at me in questioning look.)

"Um, hi," she says again.

"uh, hi?" I say. I shrug my shoulders.

She gives me a disgusted look.

...

Scott and I deduced what happened....

...

I sit down next to Scott after my lap around the bar and tell him of the strange situation that just happened (I explain the encounter with the girl)

I point her out across the bar.

...

Scott reveals to me that he was introduced to that girl earlier in the night. They had talked a little bit...

She mistook myself for Scott. That is why she was so annoyed with my reaction to her talking to me.

...

In between my initial encounter with the girl and me sitting back down, Scott talked to her for the second time in the night and felt that she was indifferent.

It's because she thinks Scott(but really me) was being a dick and blowing her off. When really I (but sort of Scott) had no idea who this chick was...

does that make sense?
Perhaps I didn't make myself clear.

...

fuck.

nothing.

nothing.

nothing.

...

Scott is Thai. I am Korean.

Day 458

4/17/2008

taken : 4/17/2008

...

ummm...the Sundown.

...

'There's nothing like the feel of something new'

Day 457

4/16/2008

taken : 4/16/2008

...

snow?

...

It doesn't matter that I have lived my whole life here.

I never get used to these surprises.

...

It seems nearly impossible to explain how I feel right now. Or how I have for the last few weeks.

...
'Gave up trying to figure it out
but my head got lost along the way'

...

Went to Scott's today to use our

'studio'

to shoot some pictures for my final.


...



Lauren

...

Thanks Lauren.

Day 456

4/15/2008

taken : 4/15/2008

...

Krista.

...

um. yeah. stuff and blah blah blah.

...

What am I doing?

I make stupid decisions.

...

(in reference to a wound that healed rather quickly)

"I neosporined the shit out it!"


...

sigh.

Nothing

...

Day 455

4/14/2008

taken : 4/14/2008

...

shuffle

...

redacted.

Day 454

4/13/2008

taken : 4/13/2008

...

nothing

...

shuffle

...



From the home recordings of Mark.

...

I made this recording this morning.

I think it's a love song.

...

Spent some time on Pearl Street today.
It was warm.
Everyone was out enjoying the weather.

...

I saw a lot of couples holding hands.

...

I couldn't decide if that made me happy or sad.

I think I confuse those emotions a lot.

...

shuffle

...

nothing

...

reshuffle

...

nothing

...

Day 453

4/12/2008

taken : 4/12/2008

...

nothing

...

Day 452

4/11/2008

taken : 4/11/2008

...

nothing

...

Day 451

4/10/2008

taken : 4/10/2008

...

nothing

...

Day 450

4/9/2008

taken : 4/9/2008

noodles with Lindsay.

...
thanks Lindsay.

...

Day 449

4/9/2008

taken : 4/9/2008

...

An image from my digital art project...

We had to make a video of some sort

...

I used still images.

...

Holy shit my video is boring.

...


...

Today was ridiculous

I had a midterm, a midterm paper, and photo project due.

Then I came home and started on my digital art project that is due tomorrow. God I suck

...

balls.

...

On a different note...

I will be the photographer for the upcoming CU International Festival Saturday April 12th. It is from 4-9PM...and that is when I will be working. You guys should come by. They have food.

Day 448

Blackout

...


Muse

...

4/7/2008

taken : 4/7/2008

...

This morning I came downstairs to take a break from my paper and make some tea.

But when I got down there I saw that it had started snowing

hard.

I watched it for a moment.

...

While I type this I am reminded of a time I was hiking with a friend in the foothills near my parents house in Littleton. We hiked to the top of Massey Draw to the Gothic Overlook.

You could see the whole Ken-Caryl Valley from there.

A storm was settling in. So we started back down. Before we knew it a cloud was settling right on top of us.

If one walked too far ahead of the other they would disappear.

...

I don't have much faith in my memory.
I forget things a lot.
Sometimes I know I had a conversation with someone just the other day...
but have no idea who it was with
Sometimes I feel guilty but have no idea why

...

That is why I like this project. Memories.

But sometimes my memory pulls through, and I remember some random moment...

...like one time I was inside a cloud near my parents house.

...

I already can not remember what the hell I was thinking about when I watched the snow fall. I remember a smile on my face. That is it.

...

Blackout

Day 447

4/6/2008

taken : 4/6/2008

...

I brought my computer to work hoping I might be able to get some work done.

that was not so...

I had to tend to the sheep as they asked me questions about sunglasses.

...

Speaking about tending to sheep...Beau Jo's pizza does not do this well.
(I just remembered this)
(I should be working harder right now)
(I should have worked harder period today...at anything...)
...

Friday night I went to Beau Jo's with LC, Bonesaw, Bigfoot, and Janey.

(P.S. LC and Bonesaw got me a $40 gift certificate to Liquor Mart. Awesome)

anyways...

We are seated. Pretty standard procedure.
We order drinks.
We drink our drinks.

Then we started to wonder where our waitress went.

No where in sight.

I'd say it had been 15-20 minutes.

I pull aside a different waiter and ask...

...he had no idea. He tells us he would look around.

Another 10 minutes pass...

...nothing.

Bonesaw and Janey decide to ask a hostess.

Still waiting.


...

Finally the waiter I asked decides to wait our table.

Half way through ordering he tells us to hold on...

...he starts to flirt with a waitress at the other table...

...he touched her.

...

A good 3 or 4 tables sat down after us, got their food and left by the time we got our food. It was about an hour.

...

We determined that she just straight up left.

...

Don't even get that motherfucker bigfoot that I live with started about the stuffed mushroom appetizer he ordered...

my goodness...


...

I should do more homework.

...

Day 446

4/5/2008

taken : 4/5/2008

...



what I did today.

...

From the home recordings of Mark.

Written and performed by me...

...Or my soul?

Or maybe just hands?

How much is my brain involved in this?

...

This is pretty rushed and spontaneous.

mistakes are everywhere.

But Renoir might have argued that those are the things that give it life and personality.

...

Nothing

...

We are accidents waiting to happen

...

Nothing

...

...

Nothing

at all
...

Day 445

4/4/2008

taken : 4/4/2008

...

I don't like this picture. But it was the only one I took today.


...

I have nice friends.

...

Day 444

4/3/2008

taken : 4/3/2008

...

nothing

...

Day 443

4/2/2008

taken : 4/2/2008

...

Tonight I stopped by Morgan's place to chat with her.

It was nice.

...

We talked business a little bit.

Morgan will be aiding me with some wedding stuff going on this year.

...



Natalie, was also around.

So I was able to chat with her a bit too.

...

Natalie and I get coffee sometimes

...

We usually talk about Astronomy

...

It was nice seeing my friends.

...

........

Morgan has a nicely shaped head.

........


frustration

...
From what I think the new DVD is...



In my opinion, the best song off of Black Holes....

Day 442

4/1/2008

taken : 4/1/2008

...

When solving a 4x4x4 Rubik's cube 1 (or more I suppose) of a handful of things can happen when you get right to the end.

In the nerd world it's called parity.

This is an example of one of those parities.

The whole cube is solved but the two corners on one side are flipped.

...

a note about 4x4x4 notation

' = (inverted, or counterclockwise)
* = (turn both outter layer and inner layer)
2 = (simply rotate that layer in whatever direction two times)

R = right side
L = left side
U = top layer
D = bottom layer
lower case letter = just inner layer on said side
...

As far as I can tell this is the only way to get out of this move and complete the cube :

2U*, 2L'*, 2U, 2l, 2U, 2L*, 2U*, F', U', F, U, F, R', 2F U, F, U, F', U', F', R.

...

damn.

...

I have :

A midterm next Tuesday. 6-8 pg Education paper due Tuesday. 1 photo project due Tuesday. 1 digital art project due Wednesday. 1 roman art/architecture project due Thursday.

...

and this is how I am spending my time...


...

P.S.

This is hilarious